Un Corazón De Gratitud

Hola a todos!!

Let me just say, it's been a bit of a semana loca!! Here's my little summary of the locaness: Hermana Harston got her COVID shot and then felt really sick for two days, I chipped my tooth on a 200 year old piece of red vine, some of our elders got to give a blessing for the first time, we had a random visit from Sister Miller at night, I almost missed my cue to lead the music in front of 800 people, more of the elders are sick and one of them has COVID and is being isolated, started SYL week (speaking only Spanish for the whole week), ate dinner with a bunch of native Spanish speakers, had my most favorite devotional review with my district, was able to have a beautiful spiritual experience today with our investigator, Maria...and I absolutely loved it!! :)

Last Wednesday, me and Hermana Harston spent our P-day getting her COVID shot, going to the temple at 6am (had to wake up at 4:45am, but I think it just shows how devoted we are) for an endowment session, and then having our nighttime visit from Sister Miller. The story that she told us was really touching and spiritual. She told us how she had been diagnosed with breast cancer a while back, and that something she really treasures is her red hair, which reminds her of her Scottish lineage. One night she was by herself (her husband was bishop at the time and gone a lot), and her hair began to fall out due to the chemo treatments. She felt so alone and prayed to Heavenly Father to send her husband home to her. Her husband came through the door soon after saying his appointments had been cancelled, something that had never happened before and hasn't happened since. She bore her testimony of the tender mercies of our Father, how He is always watching out for us, especially when we feel alone, and He will let us know that He's right there with us and that He loves us more fully and completely than we can ever know.

The next day, Hermana Harston woke up sick from her vaccine so we stayed in our room throughout the first class and slept in. After we got ready, we went and picked up a package for me and studied Restoration vocabulary to prepare for Maria's lesson. The package was from Aunt Jana and Uncle Rich and it had a whole bag of their famous homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (which we ate in two days, they're sooo good) and some candy. Which thank you so much, that made my day!! I opened the red vines to eat while studying, and I could tell by holding them that they were rock solid. I took a bite of one which was a bit tricky to do, but it seemed fine so I ate it. But with the second one I tried to bite down hard and there was the loudest snap I've ever heard, and me and Hermana Harston just stared at each other like what just happened? I looked in the camera of my phone and sure enough, my tooth was chipped! I called my mom and told her what happened and she just burst out laughing and we just were laughing over how ridiculous the whole thing was! :) Thankfully my dad said that the tooth would be fine, so don't worry Aunt Jana and Uncle Rich! After class, Hermana Harston finally said she would get a blessing, (I'd been begging her to get one all day), and so Elder Francis, Elder Oldham, Elder Bowler, and Elder Gutches gave her one. Elder Gutches did the anointing of the oil and Elder Francis gave the blessing, and it was their first time!

My favorite memory from Saturday was the testimony meeting we had with Hermana Franco in the last hour of class. At the beginning, Hermana Franco said that Jesus Christ was in the room with us, and immediately the Spirit was there. After Hermana Franco's testimony, we each took a turn to bear a simple testimony in Spanish, and somehow that made it all the more powerful. There's something about talking about things that are so important and sacred to us in a different language that just touches my heart.

On Sunday me and Hermana Harston got up at six which was kinda a miracle because we'd been getting up late the past few days. A couple comments I loved from sacrament meeting:

- "The Lord's never going to ask us to do something unless He's prepared a way."

- Faith action words: Believe in Him, accept Him as our Savior, follow His teachings, rely on His mercy, trust in Him

- "You come on your missions for many reasons, you stay for one: because you love Jesus Christ."

I led Relief Society and Sister Miller taught us a lesson about faith in Jesus Christ, talking about the pattern of faith that continued through generations of her faithful & inspiring ancestors down to herself. I especially loved how she used to be a dancer like me, and then had to trade her tap shoes for her testimony of Jesus Christ when she moved and could no longer dance. She gave me about a thousand hugs today, and I just love how loving and caring she is to each of us, and I can tell how much she also cares about her ancestors as she starts crying whenever she talks about them. :) She is an example of a true disciple of Jesus Christ to all those around her. After church, me and Hermana Harston went and played piano in an empty chapel, and I got to do a little contemporary improv while she made up songs. We tried to do a little studying before the Go & Do experience, but I got us laughing by pretending to be reading the email for the introduction while making up a bunch of random things: "You are about to embark on a journey in a spiritual jungle with spiritual trees and caverns of spirituality. So put on your safari hat and...." She realized after a bit that it was really wack so she grabbed my phone and read the email and we both just died laughing.

After the Go & Do introduction in the gym we went to our normal spot in the chapel where we have church to do our personal studies. I started with a prayer and began reading in Matthew 12 and Luke 11 based on Come Follow Me. The verse that I really loved was in Luke 11:34-35: "The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body is also full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness. Take heed therefore that the light which is in thee be not darkness." It led me to a talk by Elder Jensen in the October 1989 General Conference called "An Eye Single to the Glory of God." Some quotes and my own impressions:

- "Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus Christ." (Romans 8:38-39)

-  I could plug in any trial, any mistake, any burden, any imperfection, and still nothing, nothing can separate us from the love of God that is pure, perfect, and infinite. I especially love how the scripture mentions that even life, even this time when we are physically separated, when we endure all that life throws at us, we are still connected to Him in His love for us.

- "God's work is to be done with an attitude of Thine, not mine."

- "They are more interested in feeding the Lord's sheep than in counting them."

- When my eyes are fixed solely on God's glory, I see and feel the greatness of its goodness around me like a warm embrace of love and care. I feel so much gratitude in all that He has created for my joy, and my heart turns to Him in deep awe and love for Him, my Father.

- "Placing our egos and our vain ambitions on the sacrificial altar is one of the most important offerings we can ever make."

After choir practice and dinner, me and Hermana Harston went for a walk before going to the gym where devotional was going to be. We got there 30 minutes early so I could practice how to lead the music in front of the missionaries for the opening and closing hymns, and once the organist got there I figured out with him how to signal when to start and end. The songs I led were Be Thou Humble & Go Forth with Faith. I love the Sunday devotionals because they're interactive, so missionaries can stand up and give responses to questions. The devotional focused on faith in Jesus Christ and the different witnesses of Him throughout the Book of Mormon. I wasn't listening very well at the end when they said they were going to show a video before the closing song, and I wasn't sure when I was supposed to go up. I was also a little nervous because the stand was so low and I needed to turn the hymn book to the right page. I was just sitting there with Hermana Harston wondering what to do when all the sudden the video was over and the organist was already starting! I ran from my seat, up the stairs, and quickly adjusted the stand and turned the pages to the right song in time to start leading. I'm sure I was laughing a little up there on the big screen, but it was a little terrifying at the time! After the devotional when I met up with the elders, they all had pictures of me on the big screen with me in the middle of saying something and looking real cute, and don't worry, I put one at the end of the email for y'all to enjoy. :) Our district met up for our district devotional review and started working on SYL goals (Speak Your Language), and getting really distracted. We were able to finally get some goals on the whiteboard, but I had fun just talking with them and I know I'm going to miss them so much! Me and Hermana Harston raced down the stairs and she won, though to be fair I didn't know it was a race at first. Besides, I won our arm wrestling match, so we're pretty much even. I couldn't believe that this week would be our last week, and already I've started missing everyone. I'm so grateful for my district, companera, and teachers that God has blessed me with throughout this experience, and I will never forget these memories and amazing people here at the MTC!

On Monday, we had Hermana Palmer for a substitute for Hermana Franco who was a friend of Hermana Harston's in Missouri. She served the first part of her mission in Argentina, but she was reassigned to Kentucky Louisville during COVID! I loved her so much, she was fun and energetic and got us all laughing when she told us the story of how she recited the first vision in Spanish for one of her leaders and she said "ojo amado" instead of "hijo amado" which means "beloved eye." Elder Bowman, Eldr Gutches, Elder Johnson, and Elder Tingey were gone from class today because they were sick and Elder Tingey's COVID test came back positive! We're praying for him and hope he can come out of isolation soon! Hermana Harston also got her reassignment to Nebraska Omaha which she was so excited for! 

Tuesday I had a little extra time during the end of class, so our substitute asked us to think of a question we wanted answered and search the scriptures for the answer. My question was, if God is all-knowing, why does He seem to change the way He does things after something happens on earth, shouldn't He have known what was going to happen? My answer came in Matthew 6:8 "Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him." I realized that it's what we need that changes, not God. He has continued permanence amidst our own impermanence. I loved that answer because it made me trust my Father even more, knowing that His omniscience ensures that what revelation we have now is what we need now. Me and Hermana Harston went to the gym after lunch to play basketball and volleyball in our pajama pants. :) We played a game of HORSE which of course, she won :), and then we joined a game of volleyball. There was an elder playing who could hit really hard, and I actually blocked his spike which felt real good!! At dinner, me and Hermana Harston were standing in line talking in Spanish, and a native Spanish speaker turned around and started talking to us. He ended up inviting us to eat with his district, so we got to spend all of dinner practicing our Spanish with him and his companion. One of the elders in their district spoke French as his first language, so I got to practice a little French too which was fun. After dinner, we had the Tuesday devotional with a general authority, and Hermana Harston got to say the opening prayer! Me, Hermana Harston, Elder Tauteoli, and Elder Bowman (who said the closing prayer) got to sit up there with the general authority and his wife. The speakers were Elder Alfonso of the Seventy and his wife, Sister Alfonso. Me and Hermana Harston were a little sad that we couldn't be with the choir to sing Hark All Ye Nations, but it was so powerful to be able to just sit and listen! A couple thoughts from the devotional (most of his talk was scriptures!):

Sister Alfonso:

- "We can become Saviors of those we serve."

- "Provide service to those in need no matter what they believe."

Elder Alfonso:

- "Our focus must always be on Jesus Christ, keep Him at the center of everything we do, everything we study, and everything we preach."

- "Jesus will extend friendship to anyone regardless of social status or reputation."

- "Be willing to forgive others without any limit."

- "Forgiveness is not based on merit, but on grace."

- "Forgive even when undeserved."

- Matt. 16:24: "Let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me."

- We watched a video of Jesus calling His apostles from their boats to follow Him, and I loved how, with no hesitation, they dropped their nets, left their boats, and followed Him. I want to have that kind of faith as a missionary.

- "You can find joy because the gospel is true." (I loved this line because earlier at lunch I had said to my companion, I just feel so happy, and she asked why, and I said because the gospel is true!)

- Yes, I may be undeserving of it, yes I am totally imperfect, yes I feel as though I fall short over and over, but His grace is there regardless of our human natures. He will forgive me infinitely, 70x7, so that I can find joy. And I do find joy, because the gospel is true.

In our district devotional review we had Brother and Sister Miller with us! This district devotional review has to have been my most favorite since being here! The thoughts and testimonies shared were from the heart and it was even more powerful because of how close we've become as a district. The Spirit was speaking to everyone in the room, and we all talked about how we can love the people we're going to serve, how we can leave our "nets" like Peter and the other apostles, and forgive others. There is a statue of the apostles with their boat and Peter holding his net in one hand, as though Jesus had just called him to follow Him. Peter is only looking straight forward, his hand is about to drop the net, he is ready to leave the world behind and devote his life fully to Christ. One of the elders, I think it was Elder Jensen, gave a beautiful quote that "to live with charity ever in our hearts is to touch heaven." I hope that as I leave to the field, that I can learn to constantly have this kind of charity in my heart, that I will be able to fully leave my nets behind, and that I will be able to be a true "disciple of Jesus Christ, someone who loves" (Elder Bowman). Brother Miller read a chapter in Alma about the sons of Mosiah leaving on their missions and it was amazing to see how alike we are to these missionaries thousands of years ago! The Book of Mormon and the Bible have become more and more personal to me as a missionary, and I've already seen my testimony grow so much these past few weeks!

One last thing I want to share that happened on Wednesday this week: we had our last lesson with Maria about the Restoration. As Maria opened up about the death of her husband and the changes her kids had to go through as they moved, she began to cry and I felt the Spirit in the room. I was able to share more about the Resurrection and some personal experiences in my family that helped me relate to her. I told her that amidst all of her challenges, "usted nunca camino solo." You never walk alone. Later on, we got to the first vision, and I was able to recite the experience of Joseph Smith from memory for her! It was such a beautiful experience as a missionary and it reminded me of why I chose to serve: to love God's children, to just listen, and to bring hope and peace into their lives. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to have taught Maria, and I'm so excited to be able to serve in Kentucky!

Amo a mi Padre Celestial, Él siempre escucha nuestras oraciones. El sabe que yo necesito, y tengo confía en Su voluntad por mi. Yo se que las personas aquí a la CCM son bendiciones de mi Padre Celestial, y estoy muy agradecido por ellos, por mi distrito, por mis maestros, y por mi compañera.

Te amo todos!!

- Hermana Neil

Photos in order (hopefully):

- Me being a professional conductor

- Getting caught in another little snowstorm (why is it always after the temple?)

- Me and my companion being cute

- elders were a little sleepy :)

- Me rocking that ponytail

- Pajama pants for the gym

- Grateful for that food every single day

- don't ask about that lovely angle :)