Poco A Poco

Hola a todos!!!

Wow, I can't believe I'm already on my fourth week!! I know I've been slacking with my emails, so I'll make this one a little extra long for y'all. :))

I started with two weeks of home MTC, and I loved it so much. I would come out of class feeling spiritually filled but honestly so hungry, you kinda forget to eat when you're doing the Lord's work. My district is all elders except for  me and my companion, Hermana Hartson, which means every day is a little loco with them. I absolutely love Hermana Harston!! I've never met someone I connected with almost instantly, she is so dedicated to missionary work and is constantly pushing me to challenge myself. We had so many study sessions every day, and we would spend half of them just laughing about anything. One of our study sessions we tried speaking in almost all espanol, which was so fun! I know that God had a hand in us being companions, she was meant to go to the Mexico, and then Peru MTC (she's going to Santiago, Chile!), but she ended up in Provo with me and I'm so grateful every day for her.

My theme for this past week has been something mi maestra Hermana Franco likes to say: poco a poco, little by little. Even though I studied French before being called Spanish, I've been praying constantly for patience with learning a new language and the gift of tongues, and I'm so excited that I've progressed from simple introductions to bearing my testimony about Jesus Christ and being able to understand my teachers! I think a lot of missionaries often struggle with weaknesses in being so young, learning languages, understanding the lesson they're going to teach, it's so easy to get down on yourself. I know that especially the last week of Home MTC I struggled with feeling worthy to be a missionary, a representative of Jesus Christ. I was praying to just feel some confirmation, some inspiration from the Spirit, but I felt no huge change or prompting. Me and my dad got to visit the temple that weekend, and we sat in the celestial room and just talked for a couple hours. I didn't feel anything overly powerful, instead I felt what I needed the most: peace. It felt so right to be in the temple with my dad, taking time away from the world to just feel the Spirit and know that God was watching out for me. The next day I bore my testimony for the last time in my home ward, and I talked about that experience. I knew then that I was enough, that my Father in Heaven knew exactly what I needed, and I know that we never walk this path of discipleship alone, we are always shoulder to shoulder with our Savior. He is not only reaching out, He's holding on.

I got to the MTC on a Tuesday, because I thought for sure that was the day everyone was supposed to be there, turns out I was an "early arrival." But, I met some amazing missionaries and leaders who gave me a tour of the grounds. My most memorable part of my first day was after Elder Ballard spoke to us during the devotional. I got to meet up with my temporary district and listen as they bore their testimonies and shared personal experiences that really touched my heart, I shared my own testimony and was overcome by the Spirit. It was a beautiful, powerful way to start my MTC experience!

The next day I finally met mi companera in person!! I don't know what it is, but we are just like gemelas, and I love it! We have so many things in common, it's just insane, and you know, we still spend half of our study times laughing about the most random things. The devotional that night was one of my favorites, it was about the character of Christ. Instead of turning into ourselves, Christ teaches us to turn out, be aware of the needs of those around us, and seek to bless their lives. Two converts, Keeley and Ed, shared personal stories about the obstacles they had to overcome in their own lives that eventually led them to developing their own personal relationship with their Savior and Heavenly Father. It's amazing to think that I get to help change lives, to bring hope, light, and truth to all those who seek it. I came on this mission because I know that there are people out there who are lost, people like Keeley and Ed who don't know who to turn to, their burdens feel too heavy to bear alone. I don't want to just be a missionary, I want to be their friend, to bring them, one by one, back to the fold, to their Shepherd who will hold them in His arms and let them know they are loved, that they are home.

On our first full day of classes, we played this game (we play it every Spanish class with Hermana Franco and Hermano Correa) called Nativo where on person is the "native" and has to try to speak only Spanish for the whole class, and the rest of us try to pretend to be the native, then the teacher guesses at the end. Right now we're winning 7-1, the teachers had a lot of big talk, but the elders are pretty competitive. We had a meeting with the branch presidency where they interviewed us as companionships and the rest of us read a few scriptures. I loved when we came back from our interview how the district was sharing their favorite Book of Mormon scriptures and sharing their testimonies of them, it turned into a really spiritual experience. Me and Hermana Harston were assigned that evening to be STLs (Sister Training Leaders), which means we help the new sisters feel welcome, assign musical numbers and lead Relief Society Meetings. Me and Hermana Harston both play the piano and sing, so we've been finding empty chapel rooms and playing hymn arrangements whenever we can. We also tried out the volleyball court the other day which was so fun! It felt like I was a normal person for an hour, but I kept my competitiveness to a minimum of course.

I had a beautiful spiritual experience in Hermana Franco's class on Saturday when I was able to bear my testimony about my thoughts on missions in Spanish! I talked about how our mission doesn't end after two years, it's our lifelong purpose as servants of the Lord. Hermana Franco then bore her own testimony too, and I just loved being able to understand her and feel that the Spirit was in the room. I had a real funny moment with Hermana Harston during that class when I tried to ask: "Que es un rebaño (herd) pero uno?" and then I made a sheep sound to get her to understand, but instead I said "Que es un baño (bathroom) pero uno? Baaa." We were dying laughing after that. :))

On Sunday, we had a Fast and Testimony Meeting for church, and I was so proud of all of those in my district (including me and my comp) who bore their testimonies, especially with us being the new district. Our Relief Society lesson was given by a super sweet leader, Sister Miller, who taught about her great-grandparents and their journey of faith and conversion to the church that took them from Scotland to New York, Pennsylvania, and finally Utah. Her ancestors were faithful amidst opposition and the loss of ten out of sixteen kids. Sister Miller was so grateful for the examples of her ancestors, and she cried throughout the whole lesson because of how much she connected with them, it was so touching to me, and inspired me to learn more about my own ancestors.

Yesterday, gosh me and Hermana Harston have way too much fun, we did roleplays as a district and me and my comp decided to be missionary and investigator. Should've known we would end up laughing and making up random stories as the investigator. I was the missionary, but I pretended to knock on her door and beg at her feet for food and money, and she just shooed me away! And then when I was trying to teach her about the Resurrection, she said that she had been resurrected before and was reincarnated, and of course this was all in Spanish so it was way funny. And me and one of the elders in our group, Elder Tauteoli, pretended to be vaqueros during class, so we practiced our quick hand draws and would say: "Tranquilo, tranquilo" and then draw the finger guns. I promise we learn so much too, but those moments are just too fun and make me love my companion and district even more.

Just one final spiritual thought for you guys. Last night was devotional night and me and Hermana Harston sang in the choir the song: "O Love that Glorifies the Son" which was a hymn I'd never heard, but the lyrics are beautiful and it was so powerful to sing with so many other missionaries. The speakers for that night were Elder and Sister Bassett from the Seventy, and the thing they said that stuck out to me the most was in Matthew 28:17-19. This is when Jesus was just resurrected, and His disciples saw Him and worshipped Him, and then it says: "but some doubted." Elder Bassett then said, they didn't doubt Him, they doubted themselves. The disciples had faith in their Master, they knew that He had the power to testify of His gospel, but they doubted their own abilities. As missionaries, we cannot do this work alone, it is not possible with the power given to us from on high. We have God and His Son on our side, we are asked to serve because They believe in us, even when we don't see the same divine potential. We are asked to go ye therefore, to go with confidence, knowing that our weaknesses will be made strengths, that there are people out there who need an Hermana Neil, even in my own imperfections, and that we can become what He needs us to be poco a poco.

Yo sé que Dios es nuestro Padre Celestial, y somos Sus hijos. El nos ama, y a través de la expiacion de Jesucristo, podemos sentir paz y esperanza.

I love all of you!!

- Hermana Neil

Photos from the MTC!!

- Me and Hermana Harston from our first day together

- the elders being elders

- Sister Miller

- The food is actually not bad

- Mi distrito

- Me and Hermana Harston being grateful for food

- My missionary :))

- Had to do at least one cute little pose